Ways to untangle an argument

I spent some time today dealing with some messes. I cleaned out my bathroom drawers, tackled my car and decided to be brave and deal with this tangle of necklaces. As I sat straighting out the pile I thought about how similar arguments can look.

My thoughts turn into mush, the beauty of my relationships turn ugly and the forward progress stops.

The steps to untangling my necklaces work in my arguments too.

1. Get the mess out of the dark and into the light. I had tried untangling these while standing in my closet, bending around clothes and struggled. Did not work. I had to haul the jewelry box into my bedroom and take a look.

2. Focus on one necklace at a time.
I had to unclasp one necklace and deal with it alone. If I tried to fix them all at the same time it got worse.

3. Loosen up
I shook out the tight spots, spread out the knots so I could see. If I pulled too hard the knots got tighter and threatened to break. If I held lightly I could see where the hang up was and slowly unwind.

4. Spend some time.
Not a super fast process. I had to make some space in my schedule to deal with the issues.

5. Celebrate success
Seriously satisfying. Worth the effort.

As I made this list I reflected about recent communication issues with Family and friends. I’m going to spend some time and take a look. I think if I really focus on each issue I may uncover some knots- places I need to lighten up, forgive or untangle. Does this help you?