Remember when you were a little kid, and you’d watch those TV shows where there were two inseparable best friends who would do anything for each other and were always seen together? Where you know if you saw one you’d see the other? Those two friends who finish each other’s SANDWICHES….I mean sentences…and sometimes you wondered if they were siblings that were separated at birth and somehow had different parents?
I remember. Some of my favorites were all from Disney Channel shows. Or Harry Potter. Or Lord of the Rings. Or really cheesy Rom-Coms where there’s always a best friend whose kind of just hanging out in the background while she watches her best friend in the entire world fall in love. Or Shawn and Gus from Psych, or Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, or the Doctor and whichever companion he’s dragging around at the time….the list goes on and on, y’all get the idea.
When I was little kid, I remember seeing all these friendships and going, “Man. I want a best friend like that. One I can’t imagine myself without, one who would be by my side at my wedding, one who would send the guy who breaks my heart to jail, one who would always stand up for me and yet pick on me relentlessly. One who keeps me strong in my faith, encourages my passions, is patient with my flaws and imperfections, who knows me inside and out and yet loves me all the same, who trusts me with their deepest darkest secrets and shares their hearts’ desires with me.”
Sounds like a pretty tall order to fill, doesn’t it?
Fast forward to 2009, where I (bubbly, neon colorful, outgoing, awkward and obnoxiously loud yet adorable little kid) am shoved in a corner with board game and told to play with Cadence (awkward, shy, emo-punk rock kid in black and red checkered skinny jeans who is looking at me like I just stepped out of Alice in Wonderland.)
Can I just take a second to mention that the creator of Quirky Faith is the one who shoved us in that corner with a board game and told us to talk? She gets all the blame for this. Maybe she knew we’d write a blog about later as adults. Who knows?
Anyway, life was never the same after that. We quickly became friends…well sort of. In reality, we really couldn’t stand each other but to some extent we knew we needed each other. My extremely bubbly happy go lucky extroverted personality severely clashed with her extremely quiet, judgmental introverted personality. But regardless, we made it work for about 4 years. We spent the night together at each other’s houses, had birthday parties together, stood next to each other caked in pounds of makeup for our Easter musical, fought hard together and laughed hard together.
That is, until boys came into the mix. Girls, let me just say…never let a guy come between you and your best friend. I know it’s said a lot in TV shows and movies, and it’s a bit cliché, but it’s true; Just, don’t.
For three years, I fell to the trap of letting a guy come between me and the person I had found myself calling my best friend. For three years, she didn’t hold that title in my mind anymore. I still regret that to this day. I am not with that guy anymore and if she hadn’t been so kind and forgiving, I would be without a best friend, too.
It took a couple years after that for our friendship to rebuild. We’ve known each other for 9 years. Four years of that, we were best friends. Three years we were mortal enemies. The last two years? We’ve both been through trials and tribulations in our personal lives. Moments where we were at our lowest. We’ve both been through great victories. Moments where we were standing all alone on top of our mountains of whatever temporarily amazing thing we had accomplished. We graduated from high school, went separate career paths, started jobs, had multiple friends come in and out of our lives. Made great friendships with others but none were quite the same. Despite the fact our personalities were basically World War III when they’re in the same room, we still never could find that same connection.
Who came to my rescue? The very person I had forgotten I needed…Cadence. And all it was, was a simple, perfectly timed text message asking if I wanted to hang out. And from that moment forward, we are back to being inseparable. We have learned so many lessons in our time apart, that I know this was all in God’s timing. Even though I regret pushing her away for all those years, I know God was preparing my heart for the friendship we have now. Yes, we are polar opposites. Yes, we are both stubborn, opinionated, and passionate about almost completely different things. Yes, we can’t agree on the same music to save our life. But, amidst all of that, we hold each other up. We fill in the gaps in ways the other can’t. We have the same, loud, obnoxious squeaky laugh. We can make each other laugh so hard we cry. We cry with each other, hold each other, and remind each other who we are in Christ. We’re honest with each other, we best express our love in being jerks to each other, and we know each other’s boundaries.
I don’t know where I would be without this girl. She brings out the best in me, keeps me grounded, brings me joy, and throughout the 9 year roller coaster of our friendship she has been there for me without fail. Even when I forgot she existed, or replaced her with another best friend, or disrespected her opinion or advice, she still stuck around, forgave me, and continues to be an irreplaceable human being in my life. We can go weeks without seeing each other, and yet when we’re back together you’d think we’ve never been separated. But we both make it a point to invest in each other. Checking in on each other twice daily, not taking “I’m fine” as a valid answer, and pushing each other to overcome our struggles and encouraging each other in our strengths.
I could go on and on, in fact I’m finding it extremely difficult to write a conclusion for this post. Maybe because there is no conclusion.
I don’t have any profound thoughts except for this – don’t take your friends for granted. Don’t. Invest, appreciate, sacrifice, and enjoy whatever time you have with the people in your life.
“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.” ~ Simon Sinek
I would like to start my section being honest; when Amberly mentioned “a simple, well-timed text message” asking if she wanted to hang out with me, the only reason why I had texted her was because the friend I originally was going to hang out with cancelled last minute, and I had about 2 hours to kill before college small group, so I texted Amberly and asked if she wanted to go for coffee or something. This was only a few months ago. Now, we’re closer than we’ve ever been and we’re both equal amounts of effort to keep our relationship strong. I think it’s funny that we’re closer now because I used her as a back-up plan for my socialization LOL. Well, now that you got a summary of Amberly and I’s friendship, my contribution for this post will be tips and tricks Amberly and I have learned through experience on strengthening and maintaining our friendship. Granted, we’re both in our 20’s, so we’re not going to claim that we know everything about friendships. We just thought this could be somewhat helpful for others who struggled with friendships. Anyway, queue bullet list (dedicated to Amberly because she loves bullet lists)
I love Jesus. I think my two daughters can change the world. I think you can too.
Sign up to receive Mindy's Quirk-E-Mails