Wall of Faith: Tara Take Two

​Have you ever had the rug pulled out from under you? Ever feel like you've lost your sense of security? Your ability to support your family maybe? Ever doubted that God really had your back? I know there are thousands upon thousands of people who have lost their job. I had never been one of them. I had always left a job on my own, usually to move on to a better job somewhere else. I went through a pretty trying time recently and I want to share it with you. It definitely started out as a big fat negative in my life, but with a little courage and a whole lot of faith it became one amazing positive.

Okay let me back up a few months. I worked for a local subcontractor. I have been there eight years. EIGHT YEARS. That's a pretty long time to hold down a job for one company. Before this job I think my longest anywhere was around 2-3 years. I like change - what can I say! I actually really loved this job. I had gone through several changes in positions with this company, and had finally found my niche. I had an amazing relationship with the owner. He was someone I could talk to. He was my mentor for many years. I valued my relationship with him very much, still do. He was sort of like a second father to me. A Jack of all trades kind of guy that knows how to do pretty much anything you can think of. If I wanted to stain my deck, this is who I would ask for advice on what product to use. If something happened to my car, and I had no idea what it was (because I'm completely NOT a mechanic) he could diagnose it, and tell me what part to buy. Add to this a great working relationship. After so many years together, I knew how he liked the ship run, and I was good at keeping it afloat according to his preferences.

So keeping all of that in mind, I started to feel off. I started to feel like something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something changed. I tried to self diagnose the issue and just dig in and work harder. I even went to my boss and asked, "Was everything okay? Are we okay?" I found out that day that everything was not okay. There was a giant ugly issue, and unbeknownst to me, it was rearing it's ugly head. It really didn't have anything to do with me, personally. But I was left with the byproduct, which changed my ultra secure feeling of employment into a giant hesitation. I still dug in and did the best that I could. Hoping that things would blow over and return to how they had been for so many years.

But something had changed in me. I prayed about it and still felt uneasy. I started looking on craigslist for what jobs were out there that I was qualified for. Just to put my mind at ease. It didn't work. I talked to my husband and he tried to reassure me that everything would be fine. My company needed me! Or so I thought. Turns out I was wrong. I got a phone call one evening about a week before my birthday (Happy Birthdaaayyy toooo meee!) and I was let go. Eight years of service, and I no longer had a job.

I just bought a new house with my husband. I was the main source of income for our family. I was devastated. I was crushed. I was broken. I cried and poured my heart out to Jesus "Why?!" "Why would this happen?" "Had I not been a faithful follower?" "Did I not trust God enough?" "Had I done something wrong?" "Was I not good enough?" You get the idea. Pretty much the most awful thoughts about yourself is what I was thinking. I learned that night that a replacement had already been hired. I was asked to train her. I was expected to come to work and still contribute and still be professional and still do my job. I cried and prayed with my husband that evening as we lay in bed together scared for our future.

I barely slept that night. And when I woke up in the morning, I strangely felt okay. Like really okay. I had this sense of calm that came over me somewhere between drifting off to sleep and waking in the morning. I knew God loved me. I knew that he had a plan. It was like all of a sudden, he was saying to me, "Cast your worries on me, and all will be well". One of my favorite verses in the bible is 2 Corinthians 5:7, "Walk by faith, not by sight." And this verse came to me that morning as I lay in bed wishing the night before had been a dream.

As the days went by, and my replacement learned the roll, I started to even feel excited. Excited over the chance to do something new. I sent a few emails to colleagues of mine, trying to network and see what was out there, job wise. One of them sent me to a recruiter that she knew, and within a few days I was sent a profile of a job that had just become available. Literally, they placed their ad for this position the day before I was let go. And reading over the job description I just knew, this was it. But I kept praying anyway. I didn't want to get too excited, I mean... just because I knew I was perfect for this position didn't mean that they would agree! My resume was forwarded to this company, and I received positive feedback via my recruiter. It seemed too good to be true. My prayers were basically "Whatever your will is Lord, wherever you want me, I will go." "If this is not the job, than I know you have something out there for me." but MAN I wanted it to be this job!

I went through what seemed like the Olympics of a hiring process. I had multiple interviews, online assessments, personality tests, background tests, I kept thinking to myself "What's my next event?!" followed quickly by "Jesus, give me the tools, the words, the wisdom!" On one of my visits to the company for an interview I was given a tour of the offices. I saw what would be my office if I were to get the job. It even had windows! (I had worked in a windowless office for 8 years). It really did seem too good to be true. But that sense of calm was still there. That feeling of excitement and knowing that God had a plan, and as long as I was trusting him - it was all going to work out. I was blown a way when I did receive an offer for the job. So many people told me, without a degree, I wouldn't be able to make the same income as I had with my prior company. But guess what? I'm actually making more.

God is so good. Even in the scary times we went through with my job loss, I never lost the faith. Jesus walks beside you if you let him. He has a plan for your life. He may not let you in on the details, and you are going to have do some walking by faith and not by sight.. But it is so worth it! Get out of the way, and you may be surprised by the miracles waiting for you.