As I contemplated whether or not to write a piece for The Wall of Faith, my first thought was “I’m too busy”. Then God got right to work letting me know that this was the very topic about which I should write. I’m a firm believer in the old saying “write what you know” and in this season of life, sometimes it seems busyness is all I know.
Someone once responded to my flippant, “I’ve been so busy” remark with something like “yes, you’re as busy as you make yourself”. At the time I was a little miffed at this statement but maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s also just life at times, and maybe, under the right circumstances, it can be right in the center of God’s will.
About 9 months ago I felt the pull to go back to school for a Master’s degree. Only 2 years prior I earned my Bachelor’s which took me close to 3 years to complete. I remember the agony of writing so many papers, hating some courses, and feeling horrendous loads of mom guilt every time I had to say “Sorry, Mommy has homework”. Despite all of those thoughts, I still felt that maybe going back to school was a good idea. I took the plunge, applied, and began the enrollment process. It was at that time that MAJOR doubts took up residence in my head and heart. What was I doing? Could we afford this? Do I really need to be this busy again? Well, through a series of God moments, it was confirmed to me that yes I was supposed to do this, busyness and all.
I am currently in the middle of my program and had been doing fairly well until this latest course. It has me feeling like pulling my hair out and it makes all my difficult Bachelor’s courses look like a first grade spelling bee.
In this midst of this craziness, God has been reminding me to make time for him foremost. Yesterday I took a break from studying and laid in the hammock on our deck watching the blue sky, and feeling the warmth of the sun as I contemplated Pastor Johnnie’s message from that morning. He talked about how over half of our prayer time should include being silent and just listening to what God has to say. At that moment a strong breeze stirred up, the nearby trees waving at me. It brought to mind this passage of scripture:
“Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”
~I Kings 19:11-12
I felt God impressing upon me that He was there in the midst of it all. And when the busyness seemed to drown him out I need only to pause and listen for His voice.
I’m almost positive I’m not the only busy mom, dad, human, out there juggling the many aspects of life and not always being able to keep all those balls in the air. If you feel a little like this, take heart friend. Sometimes it is just life, other times it may be a sign to re-evaluate your priorities, and still other times you’re right where you belong. Just remember busy bee as you flit from flower to flower, take some time to land, and breathe, and pray…and listen (no hammock required).
I love Jesus. I think my two daughters can change the world. I think you can too.
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